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Wordstock - Tickling Indianisms

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Tickling Indianisms

(With Malice Toward None And Fun For All!)

 

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A Candy Affair

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Sweetart, let's mollycoddle in a Fruitful Delight
So you 'n I can brew Hershey's Kisses all night

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50 Shades of Lipstick

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Browsing through the cosmetic aisles it suddenly strikes me that a lot of women’s cosmetics have names which are linked to some kind of food. On one foot long section alone I see lipsticks by Kikki TM called Moon Pie, Cherry Bomb and Cupcake. Their individual lip balms have names like Orange Creamsicle and Root Beer. MAC has shades such as Crème in Your Coffee, High Tea, Popcorn and Real Sexy. Bobbi Brown is not far behind with Salmon, Desert Plum and Rum Raisin.

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Funny Money Jokes

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1.An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?' 'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'

2.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'

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Akbar-Birbal Ki Khichdi Reloaded

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Beep !Beep! “Aah!!! Got one more SMS from Akbar… I tell you he doesn’t have any work but to bother me with his stupid SMS - jokes and tweets.” said Birbal looking at his phone. He looked at his Facebook account and saw there were 50 notifications and 10 messages. Thanks to this mobile internet, people are now updating all the craps in facebook. Birbal started scrolling his facebook to see the updates.

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Scam: An Idiot’s Guide

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What is Scam?

Any Dictionary worth its salt, defines it as a fraud, a dishonest scheme, a swindle. But a more recent definition and one that is more suitable for the current times, is ….”Scam is a way of life.” It is the one thing that will make you rise quickly. It is to your bank balance what booster rockets are to a space shuttle.

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When Sita Clicked Write

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Since Dusshera is round the corner, I thought I’ll give Sita a modern twist.

Maa,

I am kicking myself for being so goody-goody.  I should have stayed back and gotten fat.  But no! I had to act like one those dumb belles in the saas-bahu serials and follow my husband to the forest like a loyal puppy.  What was I thinking!  Sigh… Life was so much cooler at the Palace – all those maids, the soft bed, the scented massage, the gorgeous Jacuzzi…I miss it so bad.  And guess what! I am even missing my MILs.   Yep, the same old hags I took such pains to avoid.   And it wasn’t that tough you know.  They mostly stuck to their rooms and all they did was play cards and watch TV.

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Five 'Amreekan' Things Every ‘Virgin’ NRI is Bound to Have in Common

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1. If you have been to the United States before the advent of broadband in India, then you have definitely indulged in
this - some serious open-mouthed respect for how fast Internet is in USA.

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Rakhi’s haart goes dhak-dhak

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Mere Pyaare Mohan,
 
Last night you came in a helicopter in mai dream.  Your kale ghane baal flying in the wind, your patli kamaar playing lukka chhupi with me - by God ki kasam I feel like putting big black tikka on your face. Najjar naa lag jaye mere baanke bihari ko! 
 
When I see you, my haart went dhuk dhuk loudly like Madhuri Dixit.  I think the loud sound wake up my good for nothing boyfraand.  But not to worry that bloodyphool sleeps like a saandh. Woh to bole jo bullshit walla bull.

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Mushy Mushroomy Indians!!

 

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